School—Place for Intellectual Growth

Why teachers must be respected
This tale is based on a true story told to Will by a friend [Tessa] who is an nursery schoolteacher in Drayton near Portsmouth; names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Marlon asked the teacher to help him get his shoes on at the end of a busy day. After quite a struggle with the shoes, which were a little tight, Tessa finally got them on. 'They're on the wrong way round, Miss,' mumbled Marlon.

She realizes that he is right; they are on the wrong feet. Staying calm she swaps them over for him.

'They're not my shoes, Miss,' Marlon murmurs again.

Tessa fights hard to keep her cool and asks Marlon why he hadn't told her before. She then kneels down again and helps him pull the shoes off.

'These aren't my shoes, they're my brother's and Mum told me not to tell anyone.'

At this point Tessa can feel tears coming. She helps him back into his shoes. She gets him into his coat and wraps his scarf round his neck.

'Where are your gloves, Marlon?' asks Tessa wearily.

'Oh, Miss, I always put them in my shoes!'

"A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer," quoted the teacher. "Maybe that's why we all flunked your last test," came an anonymous retort from the rear of the class room.

Pupil: "Excuse me, Sir, but I don't think I deserve a mark of zero for this exam paper."
Teacher: "Neither do I, but it's the lowest mark I can give."


“Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”—Gracie Allan

“In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.”—Rodney Dangerfield

The Laws of Applied Terror:

1. When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.
2. The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.
3. 80% of the final exam will be based on the one class you missed and the one book you didn't read.
4. Every teacher assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that teacher's subject.
5. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

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