How to Take Insults

Nice

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

On one occasion, the Buddha was invited by Bharadvaja for alms to his house. As invited, the Buddha visited the house of the man. Instead of entertaining Him, Bharadvaja poured forth a torrent of abuse with the filthiest of words. The Buddha politely inquired:

"Do visitors come to your house, good Bharadvaja?"
"Yes," he replied.
"What do you do when they come?"
"Oh, we prepare a sumptuous feast."
"What do you do if they refuse to receive the meal?"
"Why, we gladly partake of them ourselves."
"Well, good Bharadvaja, you have invited me for alms and entertained me with abuse which I decline to accept. So now it belongs to you."

Naughty

Lady Astor said to Winston Churchill, 'Winston, if I were your wife, I'd put poison in your coffee', to which Churchill replied, 'Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.'
Insults, delivered with the proper timing, can be devastating - especially if you just sit there and take it. Those who don't want to fight back against an insult-slinger, or those who just don't know how, always end up on the spot and look silly.
The best comebacks are done without any hesitation. Begin with a genuine laugh, and finish with biting sarcasm. Examples of comebacks:
"You see? THAT remark is just one reason why your absence would be greatly appreciated."
"So little time ... so many morons."
"Those of us that appreciate your lack of intelligence, would relish your silence."
"Aren't you getting tired of that taste of shoe leather in your mouth?"
"What is it like to be free of all sensitivity, caring and compassion?"